Today I spoke to a coworker who had bad experiences with doctors and was seeking recommendations for a new one, then other coworkers chimed in, and so I decided to ask you guys as well. Well, not for a doctor recommendation, but about your bad experienced with doctors?
I’m gonna spoiler mine, because it makes me very uncomfortable, so perhaps it may make someone else very uncomfortable.
uncomfortable
I had a doctor who had no business in it make me show my intimate parts (I’m intersex) and she touched them. She was curious, I guess…? She’s a psychiatrist, so, again, literally 0 business doing so. I already have trauma from regular people who treat me like a circus display, I really had no need for someone with systemic power over me using it like that…
No, I didn’t report this. I was a teenager and barely functioning at the time. :/
I had a baby last year, and while I was lucky to have an uncomplicated and smooth birth, my experience with lactation was hellish. I had no frame of reference to be able to anticipate how painful breast feeding could be, and my discomfort and suffering were constantly dismissed and downplayed by every nurse I encountered. They basically played it off as “oh you’re just not used to it” and told me my baby’s latch was fine so I must be fine. One nurse even squeezed my (extremely sore and sensitive) breast while attempting to show me how to feed my baby. I tried telling them the breast pump machines hurt me even on the lowest setting and they just waved me off with a “well it’s gotta be done” attitude. When my milk finally did come in it was literally the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. I woke my husband up with a wailing howl of anguish that made him think the baby had died. When I called the women’s health line, trying to explain what I was going through in between gasps and choking back tears they said they couldn’t help me but they’d have someone call me back. No one did. I ended up spending the night hyperventilating and in tears trying to massage myself while my husband tried to soothe me.
In every other respect my baby and I got exemplary care. I just got the impression that my experience with having so much pain must be rare, and because of that they figured it couldn’t happen or I was just making shit up. I certainly had no idea it could hurt, it wasn’t even on my radar of things to be worried about, but turned out to be the worst part of having a baby. I did make an effort to make myself heard, and made some complaints at follow up appointments, but who knows if they took it seriously.
Even if your suffering is rare and they didn’t know how to help you, the least they could do was acknowledging your pain and offering mental comfort instead of dismissing it. Thank you for speaking up about it. Hopefully this can stay at the back of people’s heads so if they encounter someone with your problem, they may seek solutions or at least comfort the person.
Thanks. It really felt like every time I tried to speak up about it the response was as if they weren’t hearing me at all. No one seemed concerned or even really acknowledged what I was saying. It would have gone a long way for someone to say “wow that sucks” and at least make some show of trying to find something to do about it, even if it did end up as something I had to just “tough it out” with. They were so good about other aspects of the experience that it really threw me that no one took it seriously.