Only if the ad was sexually transmitted.

That’s fair. I didn’t mean to imply anything about the drug use.

The way OP views the world reminds me of how I see things when I am experiencing certain depression symptoms. I tend to filter my view of the world so that only the negative things are true, and it makes it harder to do anything positive in my life.

When my symptoms let up, either through treatment or sometimes on their own, I can still see the negatives but they’re there with a lot of positives, too.

If OP does have depression, it’s possible that treating it in a more effective way would be the answer to their question.

Have you considered that you might be self medicating depression rather than getting high?

Maybe a professional could help more than anyone on lemmy?

City.

I want to be able to surround myself with a variety of people and cultures, while also being able to surround myself with the community that makes me feel welcome.

Growing up gay in a rural town that was relatively progressive was still a nightmare, and the town’s best feature for me was the commuter train that took me to the closest big city.

I love having access to basically everything relatively easily and I love having a multitude of options for all the things I have access to. Small towns can’t provide that.

I also hate yards, though gardens are nice.

So yeah, for me while I have found some small towns I could make work, I would always be giving up things that I value to do so. Big cities are the best, and smaller cities can be good, too, but I’m a city boy through and through.

For me the important difference between the two isn’t just a zoning problem, it’s a people problem.

Small towns, like the one I grew up in, even ones that are comparatively progressive, are still a nightmare for anyone who doesn’t fit in with the community norm.

Big cities let people find their community because therefore a lot of different ones to try.

This doesn’t go away with different planning or by fucking cars or whatever the kids are into these days.

It’s all about girth!

I would parade the cheaters through town naked while ringing a bell and saying “shame” over and over again.

Or just give them a 0 for the assignment if I had evidence of cheating.

Not being able to solve a problem in class that they could solve at home is not evidence of cheating. Neither is not showing your work on hard problems, especially in the take home format where students could not only use other resources, but other sheets of paper, if they wanted.

If showing all your work is required for answers, then I would have clearly stated that prior to giving the students any work and remind them before all tests to do so.

If you are sending take home tests over a vacation, you also need to, as a teacher, clearly define what is and isn’t cheating if it’s not defined in your syllabus.

As the teacher it’s your job to set the requirements and boundaries clearly, and not be reactionary when you’ve failed to do so.

It’s unclear from your description if you gave proper guidelines on all of this, but it does seem like you didn’t set up the requirement of “show your work, or I will accuse you of cheating without any evidence,” so I would prepare to get much deserved backlash from this.

Getting the problem wrong on the board isn’t evidence of cheating, but it might be evidence that you need to cover that subject in more depth for the students. Learning is the point after all, not test scores and your pride.

There are lots of medicines that can help, but none of them should be taken without working with professionals.

Please be careful pf taking any medical advice from strangers on the internet that isn’t “you need to talk with a licensed professional.”

Even suggesting diet and exercise and vitamin D can be harmful advice under the wrong circumstances.

When I was 16 I looked a bit older, so people would often assume I was over 18.

I was in Boston one day wandering around and I was approached by someone who wanted to give me a free personality test or something. He was handsome and I was a young gay boy so I figured why not?

It ended up being a scientology recruitment. They freaked and stopped trying to hard sell me their book when I told them I was 16. And their recruitment video had me laughing like crazy as I walked out.

I didn’t know how crazy of a cult they are at the time. But it was a funny experience.

Modifying my language choices is literally the least I can do to make people feel more included, so anyone who can’t fathom doing that is for sure, not worthy of being a friend.

That’s basically entrapment because this orange baby can’t not commit fraud!

Also that children who were raped should be forced to carry to term and that it’s a gift from god.

Appeals cost money.

There is a large portion of the gay male community that prefers the smell of a man rather than the smells caused by those products. As a result I will only wear natural antiperspirants or deodorants which wash off easily and only when I need to (going into the office days).

I found that I don’t smell nearly as bad as I used to (verified by outside opinions) when using “normal” antiperspirants. They mess up your body’s natural scents and it takes a while before things return to normal even with daily washing.

Plus they’re inedible…

You don’t have to make that decision until you’re ready.

I leaned on as many friends as I could. Break ups are universally difficult and even friends you might not have seen in a while tend to have empathy and love to spare to help you get through this.

I also leaned on as much self care stuff as I could. I take long baths, sleep a lot, and take an appropriate amount of time off from work as sick time to do things.

Also, block your ex and purge his stuff from your life as fast as possible. That’s usually the best option if he pulled something like he did here.

I’m sorry you’re going through it. Remember to grieve and that grief isn’t a linear process. You’ll have good and bad days, but you can get through to the other side stronger.