59 yo man with ASD with a 20 yo daughter with ASD.
We don’t perceive or express emotions the way normies do. We don’t understand subtle social clues or hints. It’s easier for us if you just tell us what you are thinking. My wife is moody and passive aggressive which I just don’t understand. If you’re happy, tell her. If you’re mad, tell her. If you’re upset with her, deal with it.
If she is peopled out give her space.
If she’s with you it’s because she wants to be. She has learned to mask which can make her seem cold or indifferent. She’s just trying to act in a way that won’t cause a negative reaction that she has witnessed in the past.
I do that. When I’m dealing with someone new who I find attractive I am extremely flat bordering on cold. I have misinterpreted what I thought were hints or suggestions in the past so I assume that everything that might be a hint or a suggestion is not and play everything neutral casual. I’ve been told by women that I’m emotionally stupid as a result.
Make her feel safe telling you what she wants. If she tells you she wants something do it if you can. If you can’t, don’t get emotion, just explain that you can’t but ask her to ask about the next thing. Make her feel safe asking you for things.
If you can learn to communicate with her Aspies are a lot of fun. I have a standard speech that I give to everyone I meet that I might be interested in being more than casual acquaintances with that explains how I act and how to communicate with me. I had someone once ask, “So I can ask you anything and you will say, ‘yes’ or, ‘no’ and if you say, ‘no’ it won’t change anything?” Yes. “Like what can I ask?” Do you want to have coffee? Can I join your Minecraft realm? Can I sit on your face? “Can I sit in your face?” Yes. “That’s cool.”
We find dealing with normies who never just come out and say what they want and who hint and suggest and brood exhausting. When you get two of us together shit happens.
I hope this helps.
EDIT: I should proofread. Fucking racoons.
They were sexting.