A gag order will not stop him from spewing his hate and confusion. He would have to be put in jail, which his base would eat up. And even then, that would not stop him or his legal team from arguing in bad faith at every turn.
It’s important to request the gag order, but don’t expect anything to come of it.
When I get pretty low, I hear the same things in my head as OP. I have journal entries that are strikingly similar to what OP wrote.
It’s a bit uncanny, I have never come across another person that feels, at least it seems, the way I do. I know it’s irrational to feel this way. I bet OP knows it too, deep down. But I can’t escape the feeling, and clearly they cannot either.