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Cake day: June 10th, 2023

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  • I was a Teamster when I worked for Sygma, and out of all the unions I’ve been a member of (four, now), the Teamsters were the motherfucking worst. If they were actively trying to take a revolving door of 18- and 19-year-olds just getting their first big-boy jobs and turn them into all into die-hard anti-union voters for life, they couldn’t do a better job than they’re doing right now, and I told my steward that before I quit.

    They designed the whole contract specifically to offload all the real work onto the new guys, protect the older guys when they decided to throw hands on the loading dock, and give as much overtime as possible to the ancient, divorced boomers with no family to go home to, that they could spend pretending to sweep the floors while the trainees finished the actual loading. Guys would bid order picking, then use seniority to bump bid loads/receivers off their jobs and wouldn’t pick a single case for the whole contract, while getting paid picker bonuses and shift differentials.

    And just to rub salt into the wound, those perks (bumping lower guys off their bid jobs and “sweeping the floor” during overtime) were specifically written out of the latest contract, so only the guys hired under the previous contract would ever get to do them. They straight robbed those kids of even anything to look forward to if they toughed out the low-seniority years. They also negotiated a different pay scale for under 5 years, 5-10 years, and 10 years in, and you can guess which end of that they weighted the raises toward. It was a complete shitshow, and when kids would quit, the Teamsters would keep their initiation fee (taken out of the first three paychecks). You could call to try to get it back, but the best they’d do would be to put it towards your initiation fee for your next Teamster job, as if any of those kids would ever willingly subject themselves to that shit ever again.

    AND THERE’S MORE. I just don’t feel like typing up a fucking novel on it. Don’t even get me started on the shady shit they did during the contract negotiations I was actually present for. It was worse than maddening; it felt like it was specifically crafted by the senior guys to make sure that ladder was pulled up as high as they could behind them, while not actually making any waves for the company. And the safety issues they ignored and covered up, and the fancy fucking “union meetings” they never told anyone about so that they were only attended by the office reps, because they were being held at the most expensive restaurants in the city, on the union’s dime, and the number of stewards who were literally fucking floor supervisors, and on, and on, and on…

    UIW was kind of spineless and milquetoast, but they took care of us. The Teamsters are fucking old-school mob racket motherfuckers who are single-handedly responsible for an entire generation of workers who think all unions are a scam.


  • So, see, here’s the thing. Most countries don’t do birthright citizenship (that is, you’re automatically a citizen if you were born in the country). They trace it by pedigree; some combination of your parents, grandparents, and, possibly, great-grandparents have to have been citizens in order for you to be born a citizen.

    THE PROBLEM IN AMERICA, tho, is that we had slavery for 200 years (as America). So when the slaves were freed, guess what? Their parents, grandparents, etc., were never citizens, says (mostly) The South. So sure, they’re free, but they can’t hold office or vote or anything, because they’re not citizens. Ever heard the term “Grandfathered in” or “Grandfather clause”? That comes from the test that Jim Crow states used to determine who could vote (for free, or without jumping through hoops, or, in some cases, at all). If your grandpa could vote, you can vote. Guess whose grandpas couldn’t vote? Yup.

    So we had to drop a ban hammer on that in the form of writing birthright citizenship directly into the constitution. Because the people who were crying into their grits that they lost all their slaves just wouldn’t get the fucking hint.

    Do we necessarily need birthright citizenship anymore? Absolutely we do. 100%. Because as soon as the GOP decides to trash it, they’ll come up with some Neo-Jim-Crow shit fucking immediately.