

This is not what you asked, but the only resource that immediate comes to mind is countercurrents’ list of every invasion the US has carried out compiled in 2013: https://www.countercurrents.org/polya050713.htm
I’m not sure if anyone’s compiled what you’re asking for. Of course the death toll of the US directly both contains events that pre-date NATO, and NATO contains countries other than the US.

It’s basically bullying like you say. They enjoy the power they hold over a woman to be able to say degrading things about her without consequence.