ivanafterall

I would like it to criticize me for needing to do it, at all.

For every you, there’s a woman who feels compelled to pet me because of my beard. I’ll take that trade-off.

You were supposed to give it a good pounding. I need a cigarette.

Thank God crocodiles didn’t learn to fly.

And is it just an urge or does it become involuntary?

Most people with good answers to that know better than to answer that.

I’m only speaking from my own experiences in similar situations:

Is he going to leave his wife to be with you? No, he is not likely to do so.

Would you want him to leave his wife to be with you? I can’t answer for you, but I’d wager it’s a weird thought.

Is he likely to enjoy the attention/admiration and keep you on the hook to stroke his ego? You betcha.

This never ends well for the person in your position. That advice is a cliche for a reason.

Earlier today I learned the voice of Shredder from the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon was Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince. I never knew.

There’s only one thing cartoons should be selling.

This is literally projection, now that people know he doesn’t take care of his hygiene (shocking).

According to a former GOP representative describing the odor:

“It’s not good. The best way to describe it… take armpits, ketchup, a butt and makeup and put that all in a blender and bottle that as a cologne.”

Source.

You could just not break into people’s homes?

Did you accidentally speak your mind or say crazy, made-up stuff?

He’s going to voluntarily slither back into his mother’s anus.

“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool…”

"I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart…

“It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”

🔥

Not me, I love it.

What a cunt.

Alternately, they could just trade. Palestinians get moved to Israel, Israelis get moved to Gaza, since they want it so much.

If “the area” being evacuated includes Israel, I could potentially get behind this.

Top Republican says party base “Russia’s cum sluts”

Ftfy.