Regarding the soldiers refusing - https://youtu.be/TwPLqGkYnBA is worth a watch. Not as straightforward as you imply.

I know my wife wishes she had never been officially diagnosed with depression, as it precludes her from some jobs she wanted to apply for. How true this is is reality, I don’t know.

Just FYI, if iOS is in dark mode, so is Mlem. So it has dark mode, I guess it just needs a user setting for it when you want it different from your OS theme