They say, “Trump doesn’t actually own a home.” Fake news. I own a home. I own many homes, maybe even the most homes out of anyone, ever. People come up to me on the street and go, “wow Mr. President sir, you have a HUGE home.” It’s true. Even last week. I told him, “I have more just like it. Many more. In Florida, in New York, in Little Saint James island—that one used to be Denmark. I made a great big deal for it. It’s a great house. Everyone is always asking me, can I visit, I’ll bring pizza, let’s have dinner. Very great.”

No. It’s accurate. They’re the kind of people who think of themselves as temporarily embarrassed millionaires, and they’ll be damned if their hard-earned future money goes to the poor when they finally strike it rich.

Is there any legal precedent for what happens when would-be voters are detained in front of polls by federal agents for bullshit reasons that definitely have nothing to do with their voter registration? If not, I’m sure there will be.

Wasn’t this the same guy who said he was going to take a step back from politics to focus on running his businesses like he was supposed to?

Homan

Name checks out. Humans have the capacity for empathy and understanding. Tom over here can’t even masquerade as a real human being successfully.

They say President Trump wants to get rid of checks and balances. It’s not true. Fake news. They say it, they want you to believe it. Believe me, it’s not true. Nobody loves checks and balances more than me. I get the biggest checks—you’ve never seen bigger—all the time, from Jeff, from Vlad, from Pete. They say, “Donald, you’re doing an amazing job.” Those checks, my checks, make HUGE balances. Big checks, big balances, I love all everything big—but not women, don’t want em. Anyone who says President Trump doesn’t want checks or balances is lying. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

PRESIDENT DJT

/satire

Not to presume, but you seem capable of self reflection and understanding how others may perceive your interactions. Neurodivergent or not, at that point, it’s a choice to interact with others in a manner that leaves all parties more displeased than when they started.

Manufactured pretext. It would not surprise me if the 51st State rhetoric comes back soon.

“Fake AI hoax. We ain’t fooled easy by corrupt Hillary and the Dems.”

The goal of Russia’s special military operation is to ____ Ukraine.

A. Liberate.
B. Remove corruption from.
C. Take control over.
D. Kill any Nazis living in.

Pick one. There is a correct answer.

Take your pick:

• “Not my problem. I live in {state}, not {state}”
• “Less red meat a good thing. MAHA”
• “We shouldn’t have been paying to deworm Mexico in the first place”

Never attribute to stupidity that which is adequately explained by profiteering opportunism.

Does this already have a name? If not, can we call it “Riccitiello’s Law”?

He got off the couch? That’s worrying; couches are inanimate.

The man’s getting a two-for-one special of losing both a flame war and a real war.

Authoritarians need to project an appearance of peerless strength, intelligence, and infallibility. The people who fanatically believe their policies will directly lead to what was promised aren’t doing it on the basis of those policies, but instead on the trust of the confident strongman who made them.

The typical conservative response to that is “but then they’ll take their businesses elsewhere and now you get nothing.”

The typical conservative response also fails to even consider just how difficult, expensive, and risky it is to move a large business to an entirely new region. Real estate has to be purchased and sold, employees have to be relocated or replaced, logistics have to be established in the new region, valuable business connections and contracts will have to be severed, and for brick and mortar businesses, the competitive landscape will be different.

Eventually we’ll get his second term declared invalid, and roll back all of his EOs, legislation, etc., including pardons.

Let me fix that for you:

Eventually he’ll get his second term declared invalid, and use that as his reason for running for his third term.

You do know that people can have multiple motives, right?

Damn those Big City libs. Life ain’t all commuting like a commie and making money by jackin it at a desk in front of the secretary. In the real world, ya can’t just be a chickenshit little bitch afraid to get dirt under yer nails. Ya gotta do the right thing and make hard decisions!

Do ya shoot the dog, or do ya shoot the neighbor’s dog? Do ya claim he was vicious and untrainable, or do ya blame it on rabies? Do ya use the ol’ reliable glock, or do ya take the hard work to pull the good stuff and grab the semi-auto from the truck? Libs–they just don’t hafta make those kinds of choices!

Rubio’s remarks were widely interpreted as making the U.S. look subordinate to Israel’s interests.

Look? If that’s the extent that most people are willing to bury their heads in the sand, it might be time to invest in excavation companies.