Comparatively speaking, politicians here are pretty inexpensive. It only took one twat a couple hundred million to own the president.

Being less charitable, he probably masturbates to it.

Those poor couches…

The only concern they have is that their voters might realize that the GOP has been lying to them all along about how unimportant the Federal Government should be, and take away their cushy Government job at the polls.

An excellent idea. If federal government is so unimportant, they should prove it and start by dismantling themselves.

But then they might have to held accountable. If they just accidentally, preemptively set the mailbox quota to 16 kilobytes, though…

“What FOIA requests? All we have is this single spam email”

“HR would like you to tell us the difference between these two photos.”

“They’re the same picture.”

“Free” “market”

Fixed that for you.

A Republican voter told me Trump would be thrown out of office if America loses the space race to China. Whenever I need a half-correct monkey paw fortuneteller, I guess I know where to find one.

Thankfully, not yet.

Nah. The tweet would be from Elon. Trump’s just going to make a post on his shitty antisocial media site:

Liberal Judge Soandso DEMANDED I reveal NATIONAL SECRETS with CHINA. I said NO. The courts are full with CORRUPTION and DOGE is doing GREAT THINGS TO FIX IT. We are DRAINING THE SWAMP for America! We will MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! The Democrats got us here and let me tell you, I WILL get us out. Things are going to be GREAT AGAIN. No more communism, no more woke agenda. You can say what you want. You can say what you mean. Eggs will be cheap. The economy, we’re fixing it. The liberals don’t want us to fix it, let me tell you. They’re just making America WEAK. More communist immigrants. More transvestites. Making our strong soldiers and men into little girls. NO MORE. I’m fixing it. DOGE is fixing it. The CORRUPT DEMOCRATS WILL LOSE.

“America will recover quickly! Drill Mine baby, mine!”
— MAGA logic*

*which conveniently ignores the realities and challenges of ramping up local supply chains and the long-term infrastructure changes that need to happen first.

It took me about 3 attempts.

Between the overzealous capitalization, misinformation, complete insane fantasy ideas, and lack of paragraphs, my eyes kept glazing over.

He really doesn’t seem to comprehend the consequences of that “51st state” garbage. It’s doing a great job pissing off Canadians, inspiring patriotism and unifying them.

The very same Canadians who constitute a decent slice of our tourism. The ones who import our agriculture and goods, and are now preferring to buy local voluntarily. They forgot/forgave the economic strong-arming bullshit from his last run, but they’re not going to forget the relentless threats of being annexed.

deleted by creator

The original source, as posted by Demented Don:

Based on Ontario, Canada, placing a 25% Tariff on “Electricity” coming into the United States, I have instructed my Secretary of Commerce to add an ADDITIONAL 25% Tariff, to 50%, on all STEEL and ALUMINUM COMING INTO THE UNITED STATES FROM CANADA, ONE OF THE HIGHEST TARIFFING NATIONS ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD. This will go into effect TOMORROW MORNING, March 12th. Also, Canada must immediately drop their Anti-American Farmer Tariff of 250% to 390% on various U.S. dairy products, which has long been considered outrageous. I will shortly be declaring a National Emergency on Electricity within the threatened area. This will allow the U.S to quickly do what has to be done to alleviate this abusive threat from Canada. If other egregious, long time Tariffs are not likewise dropped by Canada, I will substantially increase, on April 2nd, the Tariffs on Cars coming into the U.S. which will, essentially, permanently shut down the automobile manufacturing business in Canada. Those cars can easily be made in the USA! Also, Canada pays very little for National Security, relying on the United States for military protection. We are subsidizing Canada to the tune of more than 200 Billion Dollars a year. WHY??? This cannot continue. The only thing that makes sense is for Canada to become our cherished Fifty First State. This would make all Tariffs, and everything else, totally disappear. Canadians’ taxes will be very substantially reduced, they will be more secure, militarily and otherwise, than ever before, there would no longer be a Northern Border problem, and the greatest and most powerful nation in the World will be bigger, better and stronger than ever — And Canada will be a big part of that. The artificial line of separation drawn many years ago will finally disappear, and we will have the safest and most beautiful Nation anywhere in the World — And your brilliant anthem, “O Canada,” will continue to play, but now representing a GREAT and POWERFUL STATE within the greatest Nation that the World has ever seen!

“Mr President, you’re the president. You don’t need other people telling you what to do, your own ideas are perfect. By the way, here’s The Hungry Hungry Liberal, A Project 2025 Picturebook for you to read while waiting for Biden to leave.”

Yeah, no.

The only thing that has shifted left in the Democratic Party is the public’s perception of them. They intentionally fuck over actual leftists (aka progressives) within their party while offering up milquetoast policies that look progressive on paper but are either completely toothless or designed to benefit to their corporate lobbyists first and foremost.

They’re a conservative party who used rainbow capitalism to masquerade as the comparatively left-wing alternative to the Republican Party. The reality is that every election cycle in the past two decades, they’re promising more “liberal” ideas while acting more conservative. Do you know who had a record number of deportations under their administration? It’s not Trump. It’s not Obama. It’s Biden.

Anybody that thinks the Democratic Party is sliding any direction other than right is either right-wing and arguing in bad faith, an anti-“woke” moron like Elon Musk, or consuming too much Fox News.

You do know the American political compass is special among political compasses, right? Compared to Europe (or even Canada), our definition of “moderate” is their equivalent of “conservative”. Likewise, our “left” is “center”.

Wishing the already-not-left Democratic Party starts shifting even more right is wishing for a two-party system where the options are conservatism and fascism.

You’re totally right. We don’t have a two party system, we have a system where only two parties are large enough to win any kind of influence.

They sure are doing what they can to “make america healthy again”… by trying to permanently reduce the number of people with health conditions.

It’s still worth signing anyways, but realistically, 250k over two months is not something they’re going to listen to.

That is a lot of people if you’re looking at it in absolute numbers, but it becomes an easily-ignored drop in the bucket when you compare it to total population and growth of the movement over time. It’s less than 0.1% of voting-age citizens (or 1 in every 1000 people). Ignoring the fact that petitions are always front-loaded in signatures and quickly lose steam, if it kept going at the rate it’s going, it would take over a year to even be 1% of people. Even by 2028, that would still be an insignificant amount of votes thanks to the winner-takes-all electoral system.

There’s simply no incentive for them to care.