Regarding criticism of things the manager does: hard no. That’s not your place and IMO no good can come of it. Just put it right out of your mind.

then a genuine relationship with this person or with any manager fwiw is not possible.

I like to have genuine people in my life, including the workplace. The fake ones always drain me.

The conversation about things being fair, save it for later. Put a lot more thought into it.

I don’t agree: this conversation would be the perfect opportunity to reset our relationship, to establish new foundations to have a friendly relationship with no lingering bad feelings on either side. And that means talking about the things she does as a manager I find unfair.

It’s not really dramatic stuff, just regular things managers everywhere do because they’re used to or have been conditioned to do or because they don’t have time.

Would you explain why your approach is better than mine?

Where you need to be careful is the transactional nature of the apology. I.e. Maybe if you apologize then you can tell her what she did to piss you off. That’s a bad play in any relationship.

I’m sorry, I don’t understand this paragraph. You mean I CANNOT tell her what she did to piss me off?

That’s a bad play in any relationship.

I don’t agree: If I want to clear the air it cannot be one sided, the context has to be considered as well. If the context is not considered then the problem festers, the apology becomes useless.

The context in this case means what made me react like I did, which would be not listening to her.

I don’t know if you mean all that sincerely or you’re parodying people too far to the left…

if this first is true, it’s worrying people upvote you

guess there is a bubble for everything