southsamurai

First and foremost, dog training is language training.

You aren’t really teaching them to do things, you’re teaching them to understand the sounds and movements you make when you want them to do things.

This means that regardless of anything else, you have to be consistent in both the execution of and understanding of what language you’re using.

Example: you say sit when training with a calm voice and a little lilt at the end. But in daily life, you say sit sharply and without the hand gesture you’d been using during lessons. When that’s the case, you can’t blame the dog for not understanding automatically that you want them to do the thing you used different words for.

Animals don’t process language the same way we do, but we can still run into problems understanding what someone else wants us to do when they say it in an unusual way. Why would a dog magically understand the difference between “sit, puppy”, “puppy, sit”, and/or “dammit, why won’t you sit?!”

Consistency is how we learn languages as humans, and we have sections of our brain dedicated to language that are very developed compared to even our closest relatives in the animal kingdom.

The flip side of that is that you have to train yourself at the same time as the dog. You have to train yourself in the commands you want them to connect with a behavior. Make sure you learn how you’re saying things, and any secondary or tertiary signals are included.

Example: if you want the dog to eventually know that the word sit, a hand gesture, and a tone of voice mean you want them to sit, you have to consistently use those commands. Eventually, even the dumbest dog will figure out that any of those commands mean you want their butt on the floor, but if you aren’t consistent with them, it’ll take longer.

Remember, that dog hears your words and tone, sees your movements and posture, and reads your facial expressions. *All" of those are part of the command you’re teaching them to respond to with a specific behavior.

That’s why a lot of trainers have a process of introducing those things in a controlled and specific way.

And, if you deviate from the command you actually taught (like screaming word sit while making angry face, bent over and shaking a finger at them instead of the usual), don’t be mad at them for not responding to this totally new and different signal grouping with a behavior you taught them with a different combination of signals.

Ehhhh, I tend to think the distances are less important than the fact of the infrastructure being prohibitive to set up.

Trains like that can’t just be dropped onto the existing rail network. I mean, even if the rails p tracks we have would allow them to operate at speed, it would be a nightmare getting them to mesh with existing rail traffic. You’d lose the high speed factor, defeating the purpose.

So, even in individual states, where the distances are closer to what you’d see in japan, it’s not a net practical solution without some serious rejiggering.

You could likely get some lines done anyway, like from D.C. to a few major cities on the east coast. But would there really be a benefit? Would it reduce highway traffic significantly? Would it be safer and more efficient than existing passenger rail? I genuinely have no idea, but there would be a need for that kind of thing to make it worth building out. If it’s just shifting a small fraction of city-to-city commute, I don’t know that or would be worth the massive project it would take

Dude, not the fucking thread for that

Damn. Hard call. There’s only been a few that have hit me because I don’t really have a parasocial connection to anyone to any degree worth mentioning.

That being said, the three that made me actually cry were Vonnegut, Kris Kristofferson, and Chester Bennington.

Chester, I was listening to the one more light album when I found out, so it hit extra hard.

Vonnegut though, he more than any other writer made me think and want to create with words. He shaped how I view literature and think about writing. So his death hit harder than most.

Kristofferson, it’s that I had known it was coming. He’d already been lost to a great degree, but I had been low key dreading the news because he’s so damn iconic. He’s the kind of poet I wish I could be. And his music was also damn good lol. Also, he’s symbolic of an era of music that’s disappeared, and as the last of the highwaymen have died, with only one left there’s this hole in the world that isn’t likely to be filled now that the entire music industry has fallen into disarray. It’s much harder for that kind of poet bard to exist and have their music spread now. In any genre, btw; the same difficulties exist in folk, metal, rap, etc.

Anyway, those are the ones that made me cry as a grown-ass man. I suspect I’ll shed another tear when Willie goes, and I know I’m gonna fall apart a little when Dolly does. Luckily, the next wave of writers and musicians that I’d likely cry over are a good twenty years younger (or more) than them, so I’ll have a break after that. Likely be dead myself before most of the others would go.

My opinion is that, if you ignore the judeo-christian prudishness, it comes down to two things.

First, some jealousy. It looks like easy money, and they’re having sex (in the case of porn actors), so there’s this almost subconscious anger that someone else found a trick to “get rich”. Thing is with that, the only people getting rich in porn were/are the producers. Only fans shifted that a little, but the company takes a cut like any asshole pimp would. I’ve actually heard people irl express things that lead me to believe this is a common factor.

Second is the fact that a large swath of people, even though otherwise open minded and unconcerned about sex issues, still think that the only reason one would sell their sexuality is because they can’t do better. It’s the whole thing where humans like to piss downhill. Anyone doing something that a person considers “below” them is gong to be seen as inherently flawed. That doesn’t apply only to porn, btw.

Hell, I fall prey to the trope that anyone doing porn must have some kind of trauma, if I don’t pay attention to myself. It is true that porn as it exists in this world is marginalized, and heavily staffed by sufferers of trauma. It actually is one of those jobs where people that have serious mental health problems and/or drug dependency get drawn to because it’s relatively easy to find and keep income compared to other jobs when you have those issues.

Since porn is marginalized, there is a significant portion of the on screen workers that don’t have many other options. It’s super easy for someone young, undereducated, and desperate to end up being paid to show their body or fuck. Since someone in that situation is going to get paid less doing anything else they could find, the industry is heavily weighted towards that population (partially because of the ease of finding desperate people, and mostly because the desperate are easier to exploit and abuse).

Only fans runs closer to neutral since it is based in individuals. So while abuse occurs, and there’s a lot wrong with the company, the real abuse only happens when an outside person is forcing a model or models to perform. Not that porn is free of trafficking and forced labor, but it’s less useful to do that for porn when there’s easier ways to exploit someone there.

That’s my take anyway. It’s based on casual conversations with people that object to porn in its various guises, and the rest from casual exposure to interviews and conversations with adult performers

I’m pretty basic. Van Gogh is top for me.

Mind you, Gonsalves ranks right up there along with Magritte and Monet.

I reckon you can guess what “schools” I tend to respond to most lol

Aight, you asked multiple questions, so you’re going to get some strange answers, possibly including this one.

To your title question, the only time I’ve heard anyone say that, they were being a douche. My response online is mostly of the “down vote, report if appropriate, and move on” variety.

In meat space, my response is usually either an eye roll and walking off, or a “fucking moron” and walking off.

I have big dude privilege in meat space, and roll well armed, so have no need to pretend to be nice to douche nozzles spewing bullshit.

The other questions are harder.

1: for a given value of factual, sure, I guess. But it’s using imprecise language that’s been weaponized, so I would be dubious of someone stating it until there was more context. “Biological” isn’t as definitive and limited in usages as to be without question in that context.

2: don’t matter. If a guy says he’s a guy, he’s a guy. If a gal says she’s a gal, she’s a gal. End of fucking story, and I will gladly tell anyone fucking with my trans homies that they’re a fucking moron and be willing to either walk off, or fuck them up if they insist. IDGAF about sometimes XY or XX status, or any of the other possible combinations (remember when I said “Biological” isn’t that useful or definitive? Yeah, biology ain’t a binary). I care about the person’s expressed self. It’s about basic human decency and respect.

3: I wouldn’t respond logically. It doesn’t merit any effort on my part. I’m not in the business of convincing anyone that everyone has human rights, should have equal acces to all civil rights, or that someone else’s gender is none of their fucking business. It isn’t about logic. Anyone at this point trying to frame gender as some kind of science debate is a douche and can go fuck themselves. The debate at this point has nothing to do with “biology”. It’s about human rights. And yes, I will fight on that hill.

4: it would only contradict if the person trying to bring “biology” into a conversation is being a douche instead of just missing the point. I don’t automatically assume a person trying to frame the subject in those terms is acting with malice. So they may not be contradicting the fact that trans women are women. They may just be exploring the language of transness in an attempt to better understand the matter. And that’s okay. It isn’t a built in part of language, so everyone has to absorb the concepts over time.

Alas, assholes and morons use that language to denigrate trans people. So I also can’t assume someone isn’t doing so. I have to wait for context, or be proactive in stating that I ain’t putting up with bigotry, so if that’s where they’re going, it won’t end well.

Me? The debate is over. What’s still in play is people finding their path to internalizing the subject. We don’t get to debate what is a fundamental human experience. Trans people exist. It isn’t imaginary on their part, it isn’t bad parenting, it isn’t trauma. They’re trans, and that’s it.

I don’t think there’s a single objective answer.

The gist would be that it’s habitual due to long term cultural patterns, the same as what any given culture has in regards to food.

At some point, the concept of big piles of food being the default crept in. I suspect that it originated between feast/celebration foods and the “working man’s meal” where early workers in agriculture and industry needed a shit ton of calories to keep doing their work. Once enough people see that kind of portions often enough, the mind decides that must be what everyone is supposed to get on their plate.

Then, as things like machinery and eventually robots removed more and more of the physical labor from jobs, sizes never went back down because the outcome of eating beyond what you need isn’t immediate and obvious. So you follow the defaults, do what you have seen and internalized as the norm.

But there are still plenty of jobs where loads of calories are necessary to get through a shift. So people still see that, and thus expect it on their plate even if it isn’t a healthy amount for the job they have.

TV just follows society most of the time, so a show will most often mirror a norm without any effort to correct for what’s best for individuals.

When it comes to restaurants, there’s an extra later though. Even if people know they don’t need that much, there’s an expectation that if you pay for a given order, you’ll get the same amount as anyone else that orders it. So restaurants have to scale to what at least a decent sized segment of the population expects to see. They won’t be happy if they get less return on their plate compared to another diner, despite that other diner being on a road crew busting their ass laying pavement in the sun all day and needing more.

If a restaurant either changed sizes per customer needs, or charged an extra amount for people with higher needs, they’d go out of business fast

For humor, strokin’ by Clarence Carter. I’ve been known to say “ima put on some mood music”, then start that track and do a bump n grind to it. Surprisingly, it works often enough that I keep doing it.

More seriously, I favor Barry White for background music for sex. The combination of solid rhythms and that sweet baritone get the job done when a partner doesn’t have their own preference, but wants music.

That being said, Prince, during his symbol era, put out a song called 7. It’s not even a sexy song, per se. But the rolling rhythm and vaguely romantic lyrics work for me, and tend to work well for others, so it’s high on my list of songs for sex. As a single favorite, it takes the spot. https://youtu.be/9V-vcXOpG9g

Depressing though? I am not depressed by music, even sad music. Sad music may make me somber, but not sad.

However, if I need a good cry, the Dixie Chicks version of Travelin Soldier will do it damn near every time. Don’t even know why really, but I think it’s the voice tone and arrangement that push it into tear jerking rather than the lyrics, even though the lyrics are sad. That’s because there’s other versions, including by the original songwriter, that don’t make me cry at all. No other song comes close to the reliability of tears that one does.

Frankie Stein, of course. Monster on the outside, bubblegum on the inside.

Okay, real answer time.

But we gotta ask more: okay for who?

A dental dam provides (or can provide) protection to both parties.

Since going ass to mouth is inherently high risk, the person performing analingus is going to benefit more from it in that regard.

So, anyone objecting to you using one while eating their ass should be told to eat your ass as you walk out the door.

That being said, dental damns do change the sensation of oral endeavors for the recipient. Same as condoms or gloves, the texture just isn’t the same. Unlike those, using a dental dam takes a bit of skill to make work. So you know, “okay” is likely to be as good as it gets without practice. Goes for eating pussy too.

Me? It’s like being in the mafia; one slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

Also like the mafia, I ain’t joining in without multiple kinds of protection.

Butt, if you put the time into using them with a partner that’s open to a mutual learning curve, the end result can be very pleasurable, even orgasmic.

The key is to remember that the dam is not great if it’s used the way it is in the mouth in dentistry. It can’t be a static barrier and actually feel good. So you need a decent sized sheet that allows you to move it with your mouth and tongue (again, this applies to both analingus and cunnilingus) without also exposing your mouth to the anus and its immediate surroundings. It also doesn’t do any good if the damn is slipping around so much that it gets twisted, resulting in both sides having contact with the recipient.

So while you’re trying to move the dam to cause stimulation, you also have to keep it fairly limited in how far and how it moves. It’s a learning curve

Also, an instructional video: https://youtu.be/3l2oi-X8P38

Races are mostly arbitrary groupings, based on skin color more than anything else.

Ethnicity, however, is less arbitrary, but still contains some arbitrary factors. It’s usually going to be based in culture or national origin, depending on who’s using the term.

So, Swedes do have their own ethnicity, though you’d find arguments exactly what ethnicity they’d fall into, but it would likely be different than Brits.

Ojibwa people are very different culturally from, say, Cherokee people. There’s even a good degree of common features that vary. But some people will still try to lump them together as “native American”, even though that term is almost as useless as “white” or “black”.

Truth is, we’re all mixed to some degree. Except maybe the sentinel island peoples, or other isolated groups. Even then, it isn’t like they didn’t get to wherever they are without traveling, so they mixed with something along the way, even if you have to go as far back as when Neanderthals and what gets called modern humans were still fucking.

That’s part of what makes ethnic groupings partially arbitrary. It’s unusual for no movement between groups to occur, even across pretty damn brutal landscape barriers. Big rivers, mountains, they aren’t totally impassable. Even deserts can’t keep humans from fucking each other in small numbers as they travel.

However, you can usually go with nationality and ethnicity being linked, though there’s so many exceptions that it’s absurd to do so. Just look at Nigeria and try to sort out the various groupings there and not notice there’s barely an overall national connection between them. And that not everyone in those groupings are even all in Nigeria to begin with.

You know, I don’t think there is such, at least not in the way I think you mean.

And it is a community that could use a lemmy representation. It would likely need to be on one of the blahaj instances just because having admins that are overtly queer focused will help keep things from being bombarded.

Yup, communities.

Shorthand is often just c/

My default was always active listening. It took me a while to develop real skill at it, then longer for it to no longer be something I had to turn on.

There’s exceptions of course, but most people that are expressing emotion publicly do just want a chance to vent and be heard, no matter what that emotion is. Anger, grief, confusion, fear, whatever it is, just having someone gently say “hey, I can see you’re having a rough patch, can I help?” Is all it takes usually.

Sometimes, you might have to go further, draw out the personbehind the emotion. Sometimes, they don’t want to be bothered at all, and just couldn’t find somewhere private before they broke. In that case, you’d be surprised how often they still pull themselves together for someone offering real support, and you can then guide them somewhere they can break down alone, if that’s what they really want.

But mostly, just being present, really listening and giving just enough feedback that they know you’re paying attention instead of just being a fencepost, it helps.

But tears? That’s easy. If they’re giving you those tears, you accept them as the gift they are. Especially if someone breaks through the usual barriers with strangers and reaches for physical comfort, you just give them that shoulder and make soft noises while supporting them. If they aren’t in contact, extend a hand, just a hand, to where they can reach it if they want to, but not so far it becomes insistent. Then you just listen and let their tears wash away enough of the raw emotion until they can talk.

At some point, most people wind down a little and start apologizing. When you give them a genuine smile and say something akin to “hey, it’s okay, we all have to look out for each other”, or “it’s okay, we’re in hospital, it’s gotta come out sometime; I’m just glad I was here to listen”. If that’s a genuine thing, if you mean a sentiment like that, it’s like aloe on a sunburn. It doesn’t fix the problem, but it takes the edge off long enough to regather and cope just a little while longer.

I’ve been on both sides of it. Hell, three different sides: patient, family member, and caregiver. There’s no single,perfect path through it, but someone even trying to help and fucking up is still a great balm

We got to pick, though most people stuck with the closest version to their real name. I did.

But we could pick any name, if qe wanted, which was pretty cool

You can’t help others if you don’t take care of yourself.

So, you can’t take care of others’ shit if you don’t take care of your own shit first.

Which is a valuable lesson I learned while wiping asses for a living while having IBS. It just happens to apply here as well

I dunno if crazy is the right word, but you do run into people no longer giving a fuck the older they get. However, you also get them settling down and chilling out more as well.

The key to the kind of thing you used as an example is that if you can retire with a decent nest egg, you now have both time and funding to fuck around and find out in ways you can’t before that era of life. Mind you, you also have to get there in good enough shape to fuck around at all, but that’s tangential to this matter.

In my years doing end of life care, my patients were obviously past they point of getting up to serious shenanigans, but they would sometimes have family that were quite fond of finding fuckery to get up to.

One thing I noticed about old dudes was a proclivity to cars that were well beyond the horsepower needed for daily tasks. Anything from standard sports cars to serious machinery like one guy that had a pro street 55 bel air. Which, since I got to drive the thing, was bitchin!

Now that I’m in my fifties, I get it even more than I did back then. Life is fucking short. None of us get out alive, so there’s a tipping point where one’s give-a-shitter takes a flying leap. Since life is also often brutal, it makes sense that once you’ve done the expected bullshit, spending what time is left rotting in a chair by a window ain’t exactly enticing.

Only thing keeping my crippled ass from souping up my little 4 banger and seeing how tight I can get it to corner at speed is budget. I’m in that window where my reflexes are still solid, and my experience is deep, so taking opportunities to push the envelope like that makes sense.

I reckon that once I get even older, I’ll have less to lose as well, so I might end up doing something batshit like strapping rockets to a car just for the lolz. I’ve seen the destruction curve of the human body as it ages, so I’m not exactly enamored of longevity what with the shitty quality of life that’s nigh inevitable.

But for real, the majority of old folks are just tired and want a fucking nap.

I think you’ll find that the gripe is more about it being implemented badly, and in a way that’s harmful on multiple levels rather than the technology itself.

Man, those Doritos tacos are evil. They’re edible crack.