How do you do, fellow geriatrics?

Alternative caption to the article’s photo:
Trump blissfully sniffs his own explosive fart while the crowd screams and tries to make a panicked escape

Looks up

Everything!

Puts on foil hat

Honestly, that’s a significant improvement over the sex ed we get here in Texas.

It’s never been about belief or faith. This goes back to the tobacco lobby when progressives were considered progressive because they followed the advice and research of experts. Conservatives couldn’t get away with doing whatever they wanted to do because progressives had facts and evidence to back up their platforms. While progressives were relying on input from third-party think tanks, conservatives invented their own think tanks by buying off professors from prestigious universities who needed more money and were willing to write bad-faith research.

Conservatives don’t believe in anything other than money, power, and self-indulgence—they just muddied the waters enough to make facts and research look questionable. Finally, when people point to facts and figures, conservatives can point to their own tainted research and pretend like they believe their own lies.

I’m waiting for someone else to do something about it. Just like everyone else

Hail pres8dent Joe B8den: h8tter of bullies when he was younger but not anymore

Yes. Burn it all down.

Never change, SatansMaggotyCumFart. Always be the reason my eyeballs burn.

I don’t remember taking this photo??? But there it is, so I must have taken that photo…

Only a true fartographer could capture a handful of turds appearing to sniff a fart.

You heard it here first: God gave Trump herpes

Your parents were like, “Homey don’t play that”

I like my corrupt justices like I like my coffee: ground up, boiled, and helping me shit out last night’s dinner

No puppet, no puppet. YOU’RE THE PUPPET!

“Down with aborting, do more deporting!”

“We love protesting and child molesting!”

The Texan family values chant

Oh yeah! I should do more drugs…

Should’ve invested in some teeth…

I’m Jewish and I fart a lot. It’s not antisemitic to say that I fart a lot, but it is to say that Jews fart a lot based only on your know knowledge of me.

If I come over to your house and drop an insane deuce in your toilet, it’s concerning but not antisemitic to say that a Jew ruined your toilet. If you tell your friends that the Jews conspired to blow up your toilet, that would be both antisemitic and 100% true.

It also wouldn’t be anti-American to say that Chipotle provided me WMDs: Weapons of Massive Diarrhea

I asked all the oligarchs and every last one of them said “gee, this is such a beautiful day to sit near a window, run near stairs, sunbathe under armories, or consume accidental poisons. Ah yes, so lovely– OH NO, COMPLETELY ON ACCIDENT THIS HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCE IS HAPPENING PURELY BECAUSE OF MY OWN ACTIONS AND I LOVE THE GOVERNMENT!!!”