[Senator Tommy Tuberville, Republican of Alabama] made racist comments in response, lamenting New York City’s high concentration of undocumented immigrants and referring to them as vermin who “live off the federal government.”

And then he snatched some cheese from a nearby reporter before scurrying off to his hole that he chewed into the wall. Later, while fucking his rat wife, he called Muslims “rat fuckers,” apparently as a condemnation of someone other than himself.

Everybody’s saying it. And even if they weren’t, I believed it before they said it!

But they’ll be rich for a moment and get to look down on the poor!

patting himself on the back diaper

His rash has gotta be so hot and angry by now that his ass cheeks glow in the dark

Thanks for warning us before you pull the trigger. I may not have voted for any of you fuckers, but I’ll be damned if you didn’t warn us about all the ways you were gonna ruin our lives before the morons around me voted for you.

I sure am glad Beto O’Rourke didn’t win. Sure, I got plenty of access to firearms whether in my house or at the multiple gun stores down the street—and, sure, I’ve never considered owning an AR-15, but I don’t wanna protect children as much as I want bat-shit crazy neighbor to have the freedom to own 3: two of which he welded together.

My freedom keeps my belly full and warms my bed at night.

Edit: I got angry and went on a loony tangent of a rant. Sorry.

Faced criticism, not consequences, huh? We’re not even handing out slaps on the wrist for this bullshit anymore?

That’s why they sometimes get nervous and accidentally sue innocent bystanders or anyone questioning their attorney.

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a lawyer is a good guy with a lawyer.

Like a G6

Freedom Lumps fill the MAGA diapers

Amazing! You have brought me all the internet joy this morning!
- Double-handed handshake and walks away mumbling -
^Simply amazing! That was such a great comment!^

STIs were his Vietnam

In one “photo,” the orange stick figure is peeing on the black and brown stick figures who are frowning and crying. In the next, a bunch of stick figures with melon-boobs are peeing on the orange stick figure.

“ICE Agents Appear Concerned by Handcuffed man Laying Prone”

During the plandemic, my once-proud Texas school district shut down athletics, thus RUINING countless children’s opportunities to get TBIs. Even worse, they used the money to feed every student in every school FOR FREE AND SET UP FUCKING FAMILY FOOD PANTRIES!!! These goddamn fascists went TOO FAR and even brainwashed me into volunteering!

Valedictorian? More like valedictator!!!1!ONE!1

(In case y’all don’t know @SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world, if he’s got a genuinely bad take, it’s 98% safe to assume the “/s” is implied)

You’re funny. We don’t change our tune in the south. We just claim that you’re singing it wrong.

Texan here: I’ll bring the lube

All it took was a union leader being unfairly detained under a fascist usurpation of power.

Shit, we shoulda tried that years ago!

Who said we’re a serious country? We’re a wacky zany clown show! But less Pagliacci and more John Wayne Gacy…

The Attention Whore Wars of the mid-20s were a dark time indeed. Now, eat your microplastics, American Express℠ _presents Taco Bell®'s Doritos® Chinga Dos Culos™ featuring LG®_ThinQ Dual^sense™ Technology Jr.