People who are orphans generally don’t understand the experience of abusive parents.

People with abusive parents generally don’t understand the experience of being an orphan.

People with their own problems generally don’t understand the experience of other people’s situations as a mere observer, and cannot properly evaluate the two comparatively.

Probably not, no

It depends. Abandonment has a floor to how bad it’s gonna get. You die. Abuse has no floor, because they keep you alive.

I had both. I was orphaned by my living parents, and then raised by my super abusive adopted Step father. Saw my mom sometimes.

My bio dad fully fucked off, and honestly, growing up respected him more than my step father who preached “family first” and …didnt live it. I framed it as, if he cant be responsible for kids, least he walked away instead of making us his punching bag.

My mom, I hate the most because she shrugged off all her parental responsiblilities, while maintaining a drug problem and once a month visitation “im sorry you kids have to deal with your father, your complaints are all the reasons I left him, but there is nothing I can do to help you in this obviously horribly abusive situation”. paraphrased obvs. but I hate my mother most. Havnt seen my step dad since I was 16. I actually hate him the most, but it doesnt sting as much as what my bio parents, my mom mostly, did.

Orphan, hands down. My step father’s bio kids (I was raised with) are so much more fucked up than me. I could always fall back on “dudes not my blood, cant wait to get out of here” as a young person.

Orphan all the way. Least I started my life (found out I was adopted at age 6) with the truth I was gonna be on my own, just had to make it to 18 and get free.

Also, if you come from a good family and become an orphan that sucks. But it is much worse to watch the people who are supposed to care for you, abuse you instead. You are losing your parents one way or the other.

FYI abusive and neglectful is a redundant statement.

I am going to with “The Devil You Know” approach to this.

I was raised by an abusive and neglectful parents and while it was hell, there were some freedoms. Unlike my three siblings I managed to survive my childhood. When I was a teenager me and three buddies drove to DC to see three days of The Greatfull Dead, Bob Dylan and Tom Petty concerts.

We slept in tents in RFK stadium parking lots, did lots of acid, smoke a bunch of dope and had a blast.

I was never an Orphan so I have no point of reference for that existance.

So my answer is neglectful.

Wow, it’s a tough question. I come from option 2, but in France it sucks so hard to be an orphan (prostitution of minors, neglect, underfunding of orphenages, abusive foster families, etc), I’d rather just not have been born.

My turn, starve or poisoned?

I am so frequently reminded that not everyone got an amazing parent like I had, and even my less amazing, drug using parent, was never the type I hear about so often. I’m so sorry the world is an unkind as it is, especially to kids. Y’all deserve and deserved better <3

i think orphan is better, at least you are free from abused or neglected and have freedom of choices

What if I had both?

Different circumstances, different outcomes. I have a complicated relationship with my parents, but that doesn’t mean I want to be an orphan. If I were an orphan, I would be having a different opinion.

My parents aren’t neglectful, but they are emotionally and religiously (and slightly physically) abusive, but if I was an orphan would I get taken in by a better legal guardian, or just live in in an institution/on the streets?

At least as an orphan there’s some oversight.

“Abusive” can mean anything from occasional shouting, to locked in a closet and starved.

If as an orphan I end up placed with some fundamentalist Christian family, that would be worse than occasionally being yelled at, but better than being locked in a closet.

So, it comes down to what the person imagines “abusive” being.

I had option 2. I guess that would depend on where I ended up with option 1. Am I in the system also getting abused and neglected? Do I get adopted by decent people? Or do I have to figure out life all alone and some young age?

I think it depends on the level of abuse or neglect. Someone who gets beaten every day would probably rather be orphan, but someone raised as christian could forgive that