For example, Marmite Crumpets don’t exist. You cannot buy them at the supermarket. To be clear: you can buy crumpets, you can buy marmite, you can buy butter; but you have to assemble them at home.
If you walk into a breakfast cafe, they will happily serve you sausage / egg / bacon / french toast / bubble / squeak (whatever that is). But no marmite crumpets. If you ask them to make it, they will give you a very strange look. It’s not typically offered. It’s something you just have to make at home.
It is unbuyable. Any tourist who comes to the UK to try a Marmite crumpet would need to bring a toaster or an oven with them, or quickly befriend a brit and hope that they have all the ingredients at home.
It’s not a secret. You just can’t have it.
*munches into crumpet thoughtfully, and salivates at the juicy savory delight, whilst staring at you pityingly and condescendingly*
Anyway, what’s something that I could never experience unless I made it myself in your local?
Here’s something that you can’t buy outside of Italy: mozzarella. I tasted proper mozzarella in Tuscany and it’s nothing like the shit labeled mozzarella sold in supermarkets around the world, and for a good reason: real mozzarella has a shelf life shorter than Trump’s attention span.
You mean those watery packets of cheese I sometimes buy aren’t supposed to taste like watered down kangaroo testicles?
Look at the plus side: at least you know what kangaroo testicles taste like.
We have a deli here that makes fresh moz daily, you can find places that do it all over. Shelf-life really only keeps it out of supermarkets. The problem for many forms of cheese in many countries, and especially the US, is the requirements around pasturization. Completely changes the texture and taste. And for moz specifically, the lack of Buffalo.
Buffalo…sauce? Buffalo, New York? Buffalo the ungulate? I am confused
Buffalo the animal (I think it’s water buffalo for mozzarella)
As the other commenter stated, Italian moz is made from water buffalo milk, which the US doesn’t have. And unfortunately, it’s not importable because it wouldn’t survive the trip without pasteurization (and current risks of bird flu with less pasturized milks due to lax US handling laws). There are also laws in the EU about what can be called moz, which dont exist in the US (don’t get cheddar lovers started).
US moz is made with cows milk, and while it can be very good when made fresh, most people find the Itallian version to be a completely different cheese, and much more applicable to the dishes it is served with in Italy.
In the US, American-Italian food has made shifts to items like chicken parm, etc, partly because of historic American tastes, but also because of what pairs better with the cheese.
All this to say, moz is good, in Italy and in the US. But they are very different cheeses.
Very interesting, I did not know that! Cool stuff
it’s nothing like the shit labeled mozzarella sold in supermarkets around the world
That’s called mot-zer-eller, if I remember right.
no no, it’s “Moe’s a fella”
There are tons of places that have fresh mozz
Decent fitting clothes with deep pockets and quality fabrics with the colors i like
I dont understand why Jeans dont usually have deep pockets. Like who is designing this shit.
Me neither; after all, complaints about pockets are around everywhere. But at least i’ve learned how to deepen existing pockets. Next step will be how to create pockets
But they do?
I had to buy a lewis pair because tall people doesn’t exist, and my stuff gets lost in the pockets.
To be fair, my monoprix jeans pockets are exactly 1/2 smartphone deep.
I feel like that’s something only few people could actually make
True, but it’s an important reason for many people to start to learn how to make their own clothes. It takes effort, but one can learn how to do this. And it used to be a very common skill. With today’s junk on the market, we have a good enough reason to start learning.
I can sew, but finding decent fabrics is hard. Back in the 70s I made all my own clothes and I can still remember some of the fantastic fabrics I used: a ming blue paisley sateen cotton; a red denim (for a duffel jacket with a toning floral for the hood lining); a soft purple lightweight wool; a dark green raw silk; glorious Chinese rayon florals in rich colours. So much choice!
I patch my old socks with older socks, if that helps. And I fix armpit tears with a rough stitch. That’s about it.
I’ve only ever found one zip-up hoodie with decent insulation and pockets deep enough that my phone won’t fall out of them if I’m not careful, and you better believe I’m taking good care of it.
I had the same issue until I discovered MTailor. It’s all I wear now. A bit more expensive but totally worth it.
A Twinkie weiner sandwich.
- Cook a hot dog
- Slice a twinkie halfway through the bottom longwise to get something like a hotdog bun
- Insert the cooked hotdog into newly created bun
- Squirt easy cheese along the length of the hot dog
- Dip in milk
- Eat
Weird Al invented this in 1989 in his movie UHF and it’s still not available in stores for some reason
For good reason. Wtf
Yeah some foods are too powerful for the general public to consume freely.
I need to rewatch that movie (and seriously, how great of an actor is Weird Al?)
Sounds like something you could get at a state fair
If I’m going to have a twinkie, I’ll grill it (or toss it in the air fryer I have to try that) just enough until it starts to caramelize on the outside
YES CHEF that sounds unironically delicious
it is. some friends in college were getting together around thanksgiving for a turkey roast. i’m allergic to turkey so I intentionally misheard them and showed up with a box of twinkies. a tradition was born that day.
Isn’t a Twinkie partly chocolate?
You may be thinking of a ho-ho. Also made by Hostess.
Nah that’s a chocodile which is a chocolate covered Twinkie
Trypophobia, apparently
The Marmite causes the eggs to hatch in your tummy 🤗
You’ve set the bar way too low. You can’t buy peanut butter toast in grocery stores, either.
I would have said the same thing about PB&Js, too, except society is so depraved now that that’s no longer true.
Ha! We can get marmite and vegemite here in the states. And they’re both fucking delicious when used right.
But, you can’t get applebutter anything in the wild around here. Might be possible elsewhere, but I haven’t run across it.
Not sure what is and isn’t a thing elsewhere, but applebutter isa strongly spiced apple product used as a spread. It’s sweet rather than savory. It typically features cloves, cinnamon and allspice as the main spices, in varying proportions. It is also fucking amazing.
But you won’t find it in restaurants at all.
There is a great southern tradition of applebutter biscuits. Biscuits here, again in case it isn’t known, are a fluffy, light, scone-like quickbread. And it’s similar to your scenario. Places could offer that as a menu option and bring it to you. They could possibly make a deal for individual packets of it like exist for jelly, and bring that with biscuits. But nobody does.
It’s one of those things that if you came over here, you can’t find it in restaurants. Even worse, while you can buy commercially made applebutter (there’s a few brands out there) they are all inferior to even mid tier homemade applebutter. So you can’t even buy the experience the way people can at home. You can’t just go out and buy Whitehouse applebutter and get the right texture and taste on your biscuits (or toast, or crumpets).
The commercially made options are all too thin for one thing. They don’t spread like applebutter is supposed to. It’s supposed to have a thick consistency, closer to something like a jam or preserve. The commercial stuff is also over-homogeneous and too finely textured. Homemade is going to have small chunks of softened apple as opposed to a blended texture.
The spice mix in store bought also tends to be both blander and too , I dunno, even? Homemade, you get layers of the spices. Store bought, you get one layer, there’s no depth to it. Part of that is it being made in huge batches, and part is the longer time from jar to your mouth; so I can’t say it’s anything the makers have cheaped out on or anything. But it is not as good as what you make yourself (or someone’s grammy makes).
Also, marmite and applebutter on toast is absurd in how good it is. The savory and salty bang of marmite with a spoonful of sweet, spicy applebutter on top will make you want to slap yo mama. I find marmite and vegemite don’t do well on biscuits compared to toast, english muffins, or the like. Too much bread for it to really pop unless you do an entire spoonful, at which point it’s too much.
Cracker Barrel gives you biscuits before they bring out your meal and you can request Apple Butter for them. I think usually they bring out sausage gravy.
I remember the apple butter being ok, but nothing like the homemade stuff cooked over a fire and stirred continously for 12 hours.
